I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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