my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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