to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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