She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
