Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
