Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
