happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
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