plz talk dirty to me
You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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