Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize