i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
