i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
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