It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
