i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Randomize
