dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
