I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
