he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I just want to make out with him forever
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
