Yo dont text me then not text me
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Randomize
