my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Randomize
