"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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