To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
