C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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