If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
