I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
