Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
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