You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize
