I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
