its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
