You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I need a hoe opinion
go on
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize