either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
