literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
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