how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
