Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
