Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
