he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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