Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
