i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
