it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
