Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
