So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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