we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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