Buhtt sex?
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
