Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
