C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
