dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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