ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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