On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I'm too high and old for this...
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
