Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
The air taste purple.
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