he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
