Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
She announced her abortion via fbk
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
