i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
