I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
