ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
