We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Say something about gay babies.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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