What a fucking waste of an outfit
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
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