Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
