WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize