i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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