the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
