yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
The air was thick with penises
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
