I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
