Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
