quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
