i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Randomize
