I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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