I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
