Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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